Part II-Section I

Who does she think she is? Under what pretense is she allowed to act like a spy or a member of the thought police, and actually love me? The dark-haired lady seems to become more mysterious each time I see her. The moment she slipped me the note in the hallway was the moment I couldn't resist finding out more about her. It seemed nearly impossible to get near her, let alone talk to her to find out anything more. I waited for my chance for many lunches, hoping to catch her alone and away from the telescreen. Any other way would not be suitable. The risk of even feeling attached to her was tremendous already; to directly meet with her in an open place was basically death. If it weren't for the Party's strict rules, I wouldn't have felt so scared and might have already been married.

My heart was beating the fastest it has ever built the lunch I finally got the chance to talk with her. There was so much I wanted to say, but knew I had to hold back for the time being. At the moment, I still didn't know enough to consider risking my life for what possibly may be a trap. But, when she spoke for the first time, any underlying tentativeness I had was no longer. Something about the way she spoke, the quick precise diction signaled she wasn't a threat to me anymore. My confidence she truly loved me was reinstated, so I continued to follow her directions; I was still too worried to suggest anything myself.

We met again in the crowd at Victory Square; it was the ideal place to continue our grated relationship. My previous thoughts of her not actually loving me and her working as an agent for the Inner Party returned momentarily until I finally saw her in the crowd. She looked beautiful, even more with the contrast of the grayness and complete coldness all around. From then on, all I could think about was how lovely she looked and how mysterious a personality she possessed. I look forward to our next encounter in the countryside. It will be the first chance we can talk without fear, and I will make sure to take full advantage of it.