Part II-Section II

I awoke that Sunday morning eager for the day that awaited. Most of the fear I had of being caught either vanished or was masked by my lust for the dark-haired women. I no longer saw her as a figure to loathe, to want to kill. I was compelled by her seemingly contradictory personality; the mix of authority and fear was a concept new to me. I needed to know more.

As I traveled into the country, to the spot she instructed me to travel to under her precise directions, I thought of what I would say, what I would do. I wanted to please her in every way possible, but also maintain this relationship. The last thing I wanted was to act in the wrong manner and end up in a work camp because she wanted revenge and decided to rat me out to the inner party. In the back of my mind, I thought of the Party, brought on by the great lengths I was going through to see this women. I thought of the mikes they had, the handcuffs of freedom I called them. Yet, I turned this fear of the Party into passion, passion for rebellion and the downfall of the Party. The detours I took reminded me of all the things the Party stood for, so I continued on following the dark-haired lady's directions, tired of glancing back in fear.

When I finally met her directly, and we stared face to face, I felt elated. It was a turning point in our relationship, as well as my hatred of the Party. In the light, she was even more beautiful than I ever pictured. There was a certain innocent, but also disobedient, aroma she gave off. I felt increasingly attracted to her as the day continued. When I learned she despised the Party, as I do, I knew I was safe. I knew I finally found the person I can express all of the hate and disgust I have bottled up for so long. I didn't feel like such an outcast any longer. The whole Anti-sex league was a cover up, I found out, that Julia, that's her name by the way, used to hide her own disgust of the Party and prevent arrest. She had had sex before, many times actually. Odd enough, I felt turned on knowing this. No longer was she the evil women in the other department, but the rebellious, bad girl who wanted change.

The encounter reminded of all the Party's values I hate so much. As each day passes, and as I meet more people, I feel like something life-changing is about to take place. Down with Big Brother. Down with the Party.