Part II-Section VII

Ah! The memories... why must they come back to haunt me? These nightmares must have meaning, but I cannot figure it out quite yet. All of them revolve around not having something or another. I feel overwhelmingly guilty that I took the chocolate from my sister when I was young. It was not right for me to do what I did, especially with her being so young and ill. But the chocolate doesn't bother me as much as knowing I could have been taken away too. I would have much rather been "vaporized" along with my mother, as I look back at it now. Had I known that society would come to a standstill and cause me as much pain as it does now, I would have ran into the truck to take us away. Yet, why did I stay? Why did they take my family and leave me? The numbers do not add up, just as two plus two do not equal five. I am grateful I have Julia to talk to, even though she gives me limited help. These dreams mean something, and I strongly believe they will be the key to unlock what I am searching for amidst all of this rebellion I want. Yet, most of all, I want to uncover the bin the past has been hidden in for all my life. I fear this will never happen, and I will die not knowing why taking chocolate saved my life and cost my innocent family theirs. This cannot happen, I will not let it.